is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
