he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
