Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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