I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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