eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There are leaves in my underwear?
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