Just look for the house with the beer knights.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
