I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize