I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
