pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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