3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
