somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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