I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
