I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize