fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
