I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
