Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
