Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
