Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it was like eating out sand paper
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
