It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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