Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
