My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
