He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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