so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
