I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the day after is always just damage control
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
