i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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