im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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