he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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