Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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