I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
