haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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