maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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