we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
