The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
