Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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