he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
