New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
