Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
