You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Randomize