Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
