I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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