is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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