Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
