and you said cock pushups were impossible
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
