i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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