i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize