dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize