Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
