Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i dont even know how to be here
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
