I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The power of my boobs compel you
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize