my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
