Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
