Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
