Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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