I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
