how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
