in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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