He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
