just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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