Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
