Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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