that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
