I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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