i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
