we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
