Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
