were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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