i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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