I just saw a hot homeless man
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize